Self-Destruction: How to stop it for good


self destruction
“Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win.” Stephen King

Having self destructive thoughts can be punishing. It can make a person feel frustrated, flawed and worthless. If not identified and treated, they can get darker and darker, turning your life into a living nightmare.

According to recent research, people self attack mostly in low moments. Most common self destructive thoughts are known as;

  • Nobody likes me
  • I am not like other people
  • I can never have a close friend
  • I am not worthy of love
  • I am the one to blame
  • I don’t deserve anything I want
  • I am not good enough

These feelings are the products of the self-destructive inner self-critic. Not only they purposely harm you, but also give you a false perception of yourself and others around you. Realise that these thoughts are lying to you, leaving you feeling anxious during tasks, scared when it comes to bonding with others or make it difficult to act like your true self in social situations. As a result, it takes away your sense of freedom and self-esteem.

In psychology, this cycle is called self-fulfilling prophecy; what we believe in, brings out the outcome we expect. Thus, it is so important that we are not absorbed by these negative beliefs and thoughts, as they can carve us into a different, often weaker individuals.

How can I fight the inner critic?


Identify what these thoughts are. Is it telling you that you are ugly, worthless or that you will never succeed? Write it down. See it in front of you.


Understand where these self destructive thoughts are coming from. Every negative experience we go through leaves its prints. Maybe your parents thought you were lazy, or someone you liked rejected you at some point. Let yourself see how you might be influenced by their perception, and you took it as your own.


Once you identify where these thoughts were originally made and by who, reply to it. Write down; I don’t see myself as lazy, unsuccessful or ugly. I am worthy of love. I am a good compassionate person. I believe people would be lucky to have a friend like me. Show yourself that your true self, non affected by the negative thoughts, still lives here and that you love yourself truly.

It can be confusing or frightening to live with these thoughts. You might be at a point where you don’t know what is real or not. You might have completely lost your self-esteem over these thoughts. If you think this is where you are, please do consider professional counselling. Therapy will help you get your confidence back and make you see your self-worth, in no time!

Silan Aktas